Duke Voter Suppression

I tried to vote. I really did.

First, I couldn’t heed every last neoliberal drop of Hillary Clinton’s words and Pokémon go to the polls because I forgot my Apple ID password so I couldn’t download the app. After giving up and closing the app store after too many failed password attempts, I opened Instagram to see my peers post endlessly on their stories, urging me with unparalleled aggression to register to vote. When I DM’d a few of them asking how to register, one of them left me on read. The other replied, “fuck I didn’t think I’d get this far lol.”

I decided to take matters into my own hands. I requested an absentee ballot, but instead received a letter in return four weeks later that read “YOU REALLY THINK WE WOULD EVER COUNT THIS” in big, GOP-funded block letters.

So then I tried to register in North Carolina with the help of students tabling on the BC for voter registration. As I began to approach, I was, as always, bombarded by peers yelling, “HEY! Do you want to eradicate poverty?” and “Do you care about kids with cancer?”

With no defense and without headphones in my ears, I had no choice but to engage.

“Well, what kind of cancer?” I asked. Continue reading “Duke Voter Suppression”

Alternative Dinner Conversations

Conversations surrounding politics will inevitably come up this Thanksgiving dinner, and they can quickly turn off-hand comments into heated discussions. To avoid any potentially awkward and tense atmospheres at your dinner table, Department Of has compiled a broad list of alternate Duke related things to talk about with your family members this holiday season. Continue reading “Alternative Dinner Conversations”

McDonald’s, An Experiment with Sauce

I tend to agree with Reese: dining at “The Loop” channels a certain nostalgia for a simpler time–when family gathered around the table as if for a fireside chat, sharing deep belly laughs at your expense, your father recounting in a series of staccato bursts the many ways in which you have fallen short of his already much tempered expectations.  But there is nothing quite like that familiar taste of tangy tartar on golden roll that Mickey D summons while I retreat from my responsibilities and seek refuge in the single-stall bathrooms of the Bryan Center. Continue reading “McDonald’s, An Experiment with Sauce”

RateMyStudents Now Available (on Apple Wallet)

Larry Moneta has revealed that a new app is being introduced to DukeHub, Duke Mobile, myDuke, TransLoc Rider, as well as LiveSafe – Duke’s premier safety app. And yes, this new app will also be available in Apple Wallet.  Android users can suck it.

RateMyStudents is a long-awaited new service available for faculty and students. As a counter to RateMyProfessor and the pathetic, sanctimonious, halo-polishing imitation available on DukeHub, this will allow professors and TAs to provide feedback on their experiences with students, leading to better communication and a more open relationship between faculty and students. In theory. One interesting aspect of this application is that it allows one student to receive multiple anonymous reviews from all the faculty members he interacts with, much like how RateMyProfessor allows a professor to receive feedback from all the students he has. These reviews from faculty will appear in the much-used notification section of DukeHub. During the beta testing of this new feature, Department Of reached out to the developers as well as select faculty chosen to test the product. Continue reading “RateMyStudents Now Available (on Apple Wallet)”

I Lived on an RA Food Plan for a Week

My resident assistant friends always complain about the RA food plan they’re enrolled in. At $1550 in food points for West Campus RA’s, it certainly doesn’t seem like a lot of money to feed someone for the semester. I mean, I get $2,904.65 food points on Plan B.  To better understand their struggle, I decided to try to live on the RA food plan for a week. I asked my parents to send me $1550, and got ready for my seven-day challenge. Continue reading “I Lived on an RA Food Plan for a Week”

President Price MadLib

Hey Duke families!

Mad Libs© understands that we live in changing times. We live in a politically charged climate, one that’s bound to explode with the slightest spark. No one is exempt from this governmental hell, not even the children. In a world increasingly hard to understand, it’s important to get started early. That’s why for our personalized gift for alumni donors of over $100 this month is Mad Libs©: President Price hate crime email edition. Have fun!

Continue reading “President Price MadLib”

Student Athlete Email

SUBJECT: Missing 💪 Class 😩 this 👏 Semester 👌

Dear Professor [redacted],

I am sorry to tell you that I will be unable to attend any of the lectures for your course Underwater Basket Weaving: A Qualitative Approach. It’s not that I don’t want to be there – my coach had to pull some strings to get me off the waitlist – it’s just that I have a pretty busy Water Polo schedule this semester. What with practices, traveling for games, and my photoshoot for Water Polo Monthly, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to fit it all in. As a student-athlete, I have to perform on and off the field, even if it means missing some class. Continue reading “Student Athlete Email”

Class Registration

It is a typical November day: the leaves are falling, the birds are chirping, and the temperature is changing faster than my sexuality major. With such beautiful and unpredictable weather like this, it is a perfect day for a Duke student to spend his or her day indoors watching Netflix and studying for midterms. But while people are inside watching highlights from the Duke basketball games, they face an unusual phenomenon that turns friends against each other and turns strangers into obstacles: Class Registration. Continue reading “Class Registration”


I ease myself into a pink lawn chair and look up. My eyes are met by the oddly thirsty gaze of an enigma. His name is Norm, he tells me. No first name and no last, just Norm. He wears khakis, khakis with cargo pockets. A faded Hawaiian shirt that shows just a few wisps of white chest hair. And flip flops. Those ones with the bottle opener on the sole. I remark, saying that my grandfather in Florida has a pair just like those. He responds, telling me that he’s all about “that bang for your buck, you know.” He particularly emphasizes the word bang. I feel uncomfortable. Continue reading “NORM”