Vincent Price is the 10th president of Duke University.
Vincent Price’s initials are V.P.
You know who else is VP?
Larry Moneta.

Larry Moneta ordered a vegan muffin from Joe Van Gogh last year.
Where do vegans go?
Hell is a good guess, but no.
They go to Sprout, whose food is close enough to Hell’s.

Some signature items from Sprout are mock chicken and avocado toast.
Mock chicken has 11 letters.
Avocado toast has 12 letters.
Guess what has 13 letters?
That’s right, Vincent E. Price.

Vincent E. Price has clear relations with the Duke Dining system, or at least with vegetarians.
But that’s not enough to prove causation.
We must investigate deeper in the dining system, even into the depths of hell.
Who runs hell’s kitchen?
That’s right, Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon Ramsay is blond and angry.
You know who else is blond and angry?
Tallman Trask III.
Tallman Trask ran over a parking attendant in 2016.

2016 = 2^5 * 3^2 * 7, which has 36 factors, which is nothing relevant to the theory, I’d just thought I’d show off my math major skills.
However, the sum of the prime factors of 2016 is 12.
Multiply that by 3 (which is the number of people Tallman Trask has hit with his car this week) and you get 36.
We subtract the life of one parking attendant to get 35.
35 is the number of restaurants Gordon Ramsay currently owns.

There is another tie between Tallman Trask and Gordon Ramsay, suggesting major ties between our dining system and external operations.
We are getting close to proving this, but we need one more vital connection to complete this trinity.
Trinity College is a school at Duke.
Trinity has 7 letters, which is not a multiple of 3, but that is for separate discussion.
If you thought that this bit about Trinity was going anywhere, you’re really dumb. You must be a Trinity student.

What else is vital to Duke?
Research, but not when it’s fabricated.
According to NPR, Duke paid the U.S. government 112.5 million dollars for falsifying studies and data.
The whistleblower behind this bust was Joseph Thomas, who said “a Duke researcher fudged data to help the university win and keep grants from the National Institutes of Health and the Environmental Protection Agency.”

Fudge is a type of dessert.
You know what technically counts as a dessert?
Larry Moneta ordered a vegan muffin from Joe Van Gogh last year.
Now do you see “The Loop” in my reasoning? Flawless.

Larry Moneta’s incident caused Joe Van Gogh to leave Duke.
The whistleblower’s name was Joseph Thomas.
He must have been a real square.
The number of letters in Joseph Thomas squared is 144.
The number of letters in Joe * The number of letters in Van * The number of letters in Gogh = 36.

The difference between the two is 108.
But we must adjust for tax. 108 * 1.0475, the tax rate in north carolina, is 113.13.
That’s odd.
The product of the odd factors from the prime factorization of 2016 is 63, and we subtract 0.63 from 113.13 to get 112.5, the exact amount in millions that Duke paid to the US government.

Larry Moneta is not only tied to the EPA and NIH, but he is also secretly tied to the U.S. government.
We bring our three conclusions together, but in a different light.

Sheep graze on grass and eat vegetables. Vegetarians eat vegetables and whatever the fuck is in mock chicken.
Through Vincent Price, we are getting food similar to a sheep’s diet.

The government feeds us information through the news. Duke Dining feeds us.
Through Larry Moneta, our food is being controlled by governmental agencies, trying to turn us into sheeple.

Gordon Ramsay famously said on Hell’s Kitchen, “Where’s the Lamb Sauce?”
And now through Tallman Trask, he’s clearly trying to pour that lamb sauce on us.

From these findings, we conclude that Duke Dining is attempting to turn us into sheeple.

And if you combine the initials of the National Institutes of Health and the Environmental Protection Agency, you get NIHEPA. When rearranged, they spell HAPEIN.
This is a very poor rendition of the word “happening.”
Which leads us to conclude that THIS IS HAPPENING.

To Duke admin, we can only demand the answers and the truth of what’s in our food.


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