Duke Moms Government

According to Article III, Section 3.2 in the Duke Student Government constitution, it is the duty of the DSG to “execute the student body’s will.” The majority of Duke students have likely neither thought about the existence of this constitution nor are even moderately bothered by the DSG’s efficacy in executing their “will.” Duke moms, on the other hand, have read the thing front to back and are VERY bothered that the DSG does not cater to the every wish of their precious pumpkins, kiddos, sweetie-pies, buddies, darlings, angels, rockstars, and sugarplum fairies. So, after arduous strategizing on Facebook, they have decided to take matters into their own hands: I present to you the DMG (Duke Moms Government.)

After scaling down from roughly 300 grievances against the DSG, the DMG has focused on one specific area in which the DSG falls short in executing the wills of their beloved children; the kids want the the Freshman Plague gone, and the DSM is appalled that the DSG has been unable to do so. The DSM has identified the areas in which the DSG has fallen short, having failed to stop.  The DSM has created strategies to address the aforementioned shortcomings of the DSG. The strategies are as follows:

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