7:58AM DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
All Zagster bikes in use. Please wake up 10 minutes earlier and take a C1.

8:16AM DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
C1 at capacity. Please refrain from cramming onto the bus and remember to stand behind the yellow line.

9:00AM DukeALERT — Public Safety Notice
That one tile outside French Family Science is fully unstable today. Please use caution when entering the building.

9:52AM DukeALERT — Public Sanity Notice
Trash can outside Pavilion has reached critical mass. Do not attempt to stack boxes.

10:04AM DukeALERT — Money Alert
Someone donated several million dollars to Duke.

11:21AM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual assault reported off of East Campus.

12:06PM DukeALERT — Public Sanity Notice
Fryer at “Edens Café” is not functioning. Half of menu unavailable.

1:24PM DukeALERT — Public Sanity Notice
Econ101 canceled.

2:13PM DukeALERT — Moderate Weather Policy
Sidewalks are fully flooded. Please use caution and rainboots (Hunter, please) when walking through campus.

3:06PM DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
BlueZone completely full.

4:54PM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual Assault reported on West Campus in Edens.

6:02PM DukeALERT — Press Notice
The Chronicle has published something trivial, incendiary, or both.

6:25PM  DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
Duke Police making rounds in BlueZone. Please move your car from commuter lot if you are not a commuter. Hurry.

7:40PM DukeALERT — Severe Weather Policy | Scientific Breakthrough
Von Der Hayden Pavilion has reached absolute zero.

8:02PM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual assault reported on West Campus in Craven Quad.

9:31PM DukeALERT — Fire
Real fire in Kilgo. Please evacuate to your nearest exit. This is not a drill despite the several dozen false alarms that go off per semester.

10:14PM DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
DukeVans operator on snack break. Call back in 50 minutes.

10:34PM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual Assault reported off of East campus.

11:56PM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual assault reported at Shooters II Saloon.

1:42AM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual assault reported at Shooters II Saloon.

2:10AM DukeALERT — Sexual Assault
Sexual assault reported on Central Campus.

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