From: dukeglohealth@gmail.com

To: Everyone who was within a five mile radius of the Activities Fair

Global Health Weekly Newsletter

Hey guys!

Here’s the weekly newsletter of Duke’s premiere global health club, “Blue Devils That Care About Global Health Around The Globe For Sick People” (or “BDTCAGHATGFSP” for short).

We had a great week letting the world know that we will not stand for injustice in global health, because it’s unjust. Here are just a few of our exciting accomplishments this week:

  1. Handing out laptop stickers that encourage people to “Unite, Take Action, and Change the World” ™ (We still have more, so tell your friends!)
  2. Tabling in the Bryan Center to initiate human rights activism by giving out flyers that encourage people to “like” © us on Digg, MySpace, and other irrelevant social media sites! Tell your friends!
  3. Designing some super dope t-shirts with one of our 37 logos on it. Tell your friends! For each shirt sold, we get the funding to make even doper shirts!

Here’s just a few of our really rad opportunities to “Reach Out and Change This World” ℗

  1. We are having a “Walk-a-thon” this Tuesday. This is definitely something you’ll want to invite your friends to. It’s gonna be a blast!
  2. We need some volunteers to table at the Bryan Center on Friday. This week, we’ll be giving out heart pins and colorful shoelaces! Tell your shoes!
  3. Our General Body Meeting is this Wednesday in Soc Sci 120. There will be FREE PAPA JOHN’S PIZZA for the first three members to arrive! Don’t miss out!

Just a few reminders about how to keep “Initiating Justice” © wherever you go. John and Taylor, please refrain from excessive flirtation while tabling on the BC Plaza. You make people uncomfortable while they’re trying to get information about our global health initiatives. Good work though! Tell your friends! And everyone, please remember to keep reppin’ our global health group with our shirts, wristbands, hats, and jackets! We don’t want to be confused with “Duke Global Brigades”, “Global Health Interest Group”, “GlobeMed at Duke”, “Partners in Health Engage,” and “Duke Blue Devils Promoting Duke Clubs About Justice in Health.” (Don’t tell your friends about those groups.)

Lastly, please refrain from initiating Facebook beef with rival global health groups. That violates our mission statement to “First, Do No Harm” ®. However, feel free to send them anonymous hateful messages and tell them to disband their group, because being socially responsibly people is our turf, damnit.

Have a great week!

Sincerely,

That Guy You Don’t Know Who Still Sends You Emails 9 Weeks After You Requested To Be Taken Off The ListServ

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