mathematical proof

Given :

(a) Ann Coulter walks on four legs and shits on anything that doesn’t look like her
(b) Afghan Hounds are dogs

Prove :

Ann Coulter is an Afghan Hound, where (a) = (b)

1.Ann H. Coulter has 11 letters 1. Afghan Hound has 11 letters
2. Adopted 2 children from Sweden to “stop this country from being overtaken by uneducated hordes from the Third World.” 2. Gave birth to 2 puppies naturally in a kitchen
3. Groups all non-white people into a sub-human category 3. Groups all humans into the same category
4. Claims she has never had children but most likely gave birth to the Antichrist inspiring Lars Von Trier’s film 4. Turned down Lars Von Trier’s offer to portray the mother so that Charlotte Gainsbourg could remain employed.
5. Has said, “This is a country created by white people…I am a Native because I am a descendant from settlers.” 5.  Has not publicly commented on her Afghan heritage for fear of being deported and/or slaughtered by Ann Coulter or the NYPD
6.  Wrote a book called “Adios, America: The Left’s Plan to Turn Our Country Into a Third World Hellhole” 6. Cannot read or write
7. Refuses to look at  Judith Light 7. Is really probably Judith Light*

Alas, this was performed as an exercise to gain familiarity with the format of a mathematical proof.  Do you truly believe you would need to do anything beyond a 45 second google search to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that an Afghan Hound is far superior to the embarrassment commonly known as Ann Coulter? Additionally I would like to extend my deepest apologies to all Afghan Hounds for mentioning your breed name in the same breath as she-who-must-not-be-named.

 

*shout out to my Broad City stans

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