Kate. Larry. Mindy. Nicholas. Odette. Peter. Rose. What do these names have in common? They’re all intense tropical weather systems with well defined circulation and maximum sustained winds of 74 miles per hour or higher. In other words, they’re hurricanes. They’re the next seven names in line after Joaquin. Notice anything funny about them?
They’re all white, normative hurricanes.
It’s disgusting. And if you’re not vomiting up mealy blood just thinking about it, you’re part of the problem.
We’re tired of this, and we’re taking action. If you care about justice, about doing what’s right, or about adequately representing groups of people through circulating tropical systems, then you should take action too. That’s why we made an online petition for you to sign.
Did you know that tornadoes aren’t named? Did you know that hurricanes are forbidden to have names that begin with a Q, U, X, Y, Z? Did you know that there has never been a single gay weather system?
It just doesn’t add up.
“Sure,” people think, “I bet tropical storms, steered by easterly trade winds and temperate westerlies, are named in a manner that reflects the diversity and equality of the American populace.” And you know what? They’d be wrong.
And guess who’s behind it? Wall Street. Capitol Hill. Big Pharma. Big Agra. Guantanamo. Apple. But we can’t be bought. We are believers in justice. Equality. And dramatic punctuation.
If you’re a man, you may not think this affects you. Well, it does. It affects every sister, daughter, girlfriend, and major weather pattern in your life.
You have the right– no, you have the obligation– to act. “Acting” doesn’t mean participating in local politics or organizing community dialogues. Let’s be clear: you have been deeply, vaguely, and vicariously offended, and the solution is click a button and show your undying support and extensive knowledge on the subject. So please join us. Let the big institutions know how you feel. Take them down. Open your heart. Open your mind. Equal pay. Marriage rights. Poverty alleviation. Tolerance. Harmful food dyes. Wisdom. Love. Quinoa. Words.
Enough is enough.