You know the drill.  Educate yourselves on what the Young Trustee candidates think about Tiffany Haddish, bitcoin, and Tide pods.  Try not to make this a popularity contest or base your vote off of which candidate met you once and smiles vaguely every time they pass you on campus.  Go out and vote this week.

All interviews are edited for clarity and length, but yes, they did say that.

(All illustrations by Wei Tan)

liz

Liz Brown
Entering the race as the obligatory Benjamin N. Duke Scholarship candidate this year, Liz Brown has been milking her Durham connections for all they’re worth and flexing her involvement in poverty-related student organizations since she made the top four finalists. Liz spends her time on campus clinging to the spineless dead husk that is the Democratic Party, pretending that Tri Delta isn’t a white hellscape, and thinking of ways to talk about racially-linked impoverishment without having to conclude that maybe capitalism just doesn’t work. When she’s not trying to downplay her Greek affiliation, she can be found reminding anyone who will listen that only 2 of the past 10 Young Trustees have been women.

bryce

Bryce Cracknell
Already sitting atop a mountain of endorsements and dorm window banners, Bryce has further accrued attention by making it a central focus of his platform to promise to be every white student’s “one black friend”, if elected. His time is often split between practicing the respectability politics necessary to survive on Duke’s campus and picking out garish, blue, checkered ties. Many identity groups have already pledged support for him, most adding later: “I mean, c’mon. Not like there’s much of a choice with these things anyways.” Bryce, much like his fellow candidates, has promised a wide-ranging campaign platform for the secrecy-shrouded position that the vast majority of students know means very little outside of the potential opportunity for yet another resume booster for the most insufferably hyper-ambitious among us.

amy

Amy Kramer
With involvement in both ROTC and the American Grand Strategy Program, Amy has already set herself apart in the race by being the candidate most committed to imperialist and reactionary organizations on campus. One of two Robertson Scholars who have managed to, against all odds, make it to the final round of the Young Trustee election process, she’s also one of two candidates really hoping to play off residual white, neoliberal girl power energy left over from the 2016 presidential election. Her visions for the future include expanding her campus commitment to the Board of Trustees, bringing her unique voice to conversations, and encouraging women to finally take the lead in poorly-orchestrated, decade-long military occupations in the Middle East.

chinmay

Chinmay Pandit
Although his love of Econ 201 should be a major red flag for any well-adjusted human, Chinmay has somehow managed to earn a spot in the final four for the Young Trustee election. When he’s not trying to collect disingenuous pictures with different social circles around campus like Pokémon, he can be found editing his bitmoji and whitening his already blindingly perfect teeth. While his double major of Political Science and Economics is no doubt a condemnation of his character and moral compass, Chinmay has expressed a keen interest in education—and, no doubt, how it can eventually be used to mine Bitcoins or be made into a Silicon Valley startup.

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