Just a reminder that these are real quotes from the real Archana Ahlawat.

Department Of: Fuck, marry, kill: Norm from the Barn, the bull at Shooters, the Robert E. Lee statue?
Archana Ahlawat: Definitely kill the Robert E. Lee statue. What were the first two?
DO: Norm from the barn and the bull from Shooters.
AA: Ooh, Okay. Uh, fuck Norm. and then marry the bull. Honestly, I really enjoy the bull.

DO: What’s your least favorite Duke memory?
AA: Ooh, um, hm, I think – oh, okay. Definitely pulling an all-nighter in The Edge. This has happened multiple times doing compsci. Like this one compsci project, I just sat in The Edge until 1 am and I didn’t even finish. And then I had to walk back to Edens.

DO: And you used to be the Duke Conversations president?
AA: Yes.
DO: Who was the worst Duke conversationalist?
AA: Like a professor?
DO: Yes.
AA: Oh my gosh, I cannot say that. We have had a lot of really fun ones.

DO: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you hate The Chronicle?
AA: I haven’t had my interview with them yet. With their edit board. Um, you know honestly, I enjoy The Chronicle. I like their opinion – okay well, not recently. Some of their opinion pieces have been rough.
DO: Do you want to name any?
AA: I just enjoy seeing what different people on Duke’s campus think. It’s supposed to be like different opinions outside of my bubble. Sometimes I really like their more personal pieces, like where someone is talking about their experience at Duke. I’ll give them an eight.
DO: An eight? For hate?
AA: Oh, hate? Oh, no no. Two.

DO: Favorite ASMR roleplay?
AA: Ooh, I have no idea. I – what does ASMR stand for? Is this the thing where you make the sounds?
DO: Yes. It’s like the autonomous – you’re the first person to ask.
AA: Everyone pretended to know probably.
DO: It’s where they make those weird noises into the high-quality microphone to make you tingle.
AA: I have no idea. Like a twinkly sound.
DO: A twinkly sound?
AA: Or whispers? Whispers!

DO: Now we enter speed round. Describe yourself in 50 characters.
AA: I am a nice, loyal, passionate person, love community, mentorship – (65 characters)
DO: Probably done.
DO: Favorite WU spot?
AA: Oh, WU?
DO: Broadhead Center spot?
AA: ABP near the windows. It’s really nice, like when the sun is shining.
DO: Do you miss Marketplace?
AA: No.
DO: Brutal.
AA: The fruit was really good. That’s all though.
DO: Fill in the blank: You know you’re a Duke student if _________.
AA: If you like, tent. Or have a tenting thing at your school. It’s like the only university.

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