Here we have it, what some would argue is the most insightful analysis of the Young Trustee candidates: Department Of’s own interview with each finalist. Once again, we asked your fellow classmates questions to really understand who they are and what they stand for. Read each interview, and then go vote February 12 and 13.

And yes, these are real interviews. We really did ask that and each candidate really did say that.

 

Trey Walk

Trey joins the semi-finalists as the perfect intersection of several different marginalized identities and fully prepared to embrace the meaningless and exclusively self-serving role of Young Trustee. While he is known on campus for being an activist with People’s State of the University, this just goes to show that even the wokest among us still can’t resist the allure of that sweet, sweet YT resume booster. What sets Trey apart from other candidates is a more demonstrable commitment to progressive values—and the boldness to appropriate revolutionary verbage for a campaign to get on the trustee board at a private PWI.

Luke Farrell

Luke—an off-brand, generic Nate Silver—has started out the race for Young Trustee with a compelling argument: he already sits on numerous useless, bureaucratic committees, so what’s one more? With his graphic design color scheme and love of buzzwords, Luke nails the “obnoxious, DNC-backed freshman senate candidate” vibe. Plus his diverse campaign staff almost made us forget he’s white! Almost. While his propensity to take credit for over large-scale policy changes that were a result of grassroots student organizing makes us go “yikes!”, his interest in machine learning makes us go, “oh God is that like the stuff in Blade Runner?”

Brian Buhr

Brian—still the only student with a Brian Buhr Facebook profile picture—has taken the unique strategy of doing very poorly immediately. Like, we couldn’t find a Facebook page? Or a website? You good, dude?

Archana Ahlawat

Archana is setting herself apart from the crowd by boldly being a woman. Good for her! Beyond that, her campaign messaging is indiscernible from her competitors. But, rest assured: her work with Business Oriented Women proves that she’s the most committed to corporatized, neoliberal feminism. While her campaign teams consists largely of uninspiring Poli Sci kids who think they’re Sam Seaborn from The West Wing, her passion for computer science is a subtle, effective reminder that if you don’t vote for her she will automate your job.

2 thoughts on “Fourth Annual Interview with Young Trustee finalists

  1. Do you need more than a decorative apostrophe here:?
    Archana is setting herself apart … her campaign messaging is indiscernible from her competitors.

    Competitors’

    Right?

    Abcdarianly

    Yrs
    Ned

  2. Clever and succinct… ignore your nutty professor uncle 🙂

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